He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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