I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
