He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The adults are the big ones right?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
