Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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