All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
