Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
