i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
