Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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