so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
