Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
