you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
