he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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