everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
