College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
