my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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