Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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