in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
