Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
