the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Randomize
