whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
