so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
