It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Please don't give away my fajitas
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
