Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
