i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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