It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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