Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
