we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
