I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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