If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
