No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
smell my finger.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
