We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
