Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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