I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
