omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
