we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
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