I love black thongs
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
