why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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