I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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