I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
