don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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