i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
