u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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