Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
