hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
