hell yes lets make some ravioli
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
