shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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