The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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