I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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