508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize