...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
