What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize